November 2012
4 posts
2 tags
Nov 30th
2 tags
Wilder Reviews! Part 1
Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand All of the smart people get on a boat and party and have a great time. Then the boat sinks. In a twist ending it was The Titanic. The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien A giant floating eye wants his ring back but a bunch of dicks throw it into a volcano. In an unrelated subplot a gray anorexic leper also gets tossed into the volcano. Twelve Angry Men by Reginald Rose...
Nov 30th
2 tags
Nov 30th
2 tags
Writing Advice to a Friend-Writer-Blob
A friend(-ly stalker) sent me his completed novel (which is EPIC and will make him a googlianaire). I felt like the only thing it was missing were freshy awesome metaphors. Skip ahead a few emails and here are a few phrases I cooked up to enhance his manuscript. Please use these in your own writing be it a short story, novel, or suicide note but make sure you credit me as good people. Here goes: ...
Nov 26th
October 2012
2 posts
2 tags
Oct 24th
2 notes
2 tags
Oct 2nd
August 2012
1 post
Life presumes there's something going on.
Well, hey there. I’ve been Internet-less for a large portion of Summer yet somehow enjoying myself. Apparently there are “lifey” activities as fun as perusing Topless Robot or Cracked. Like fishing. Well, not fishing. But other things. And I’ve been doing them. Road trips, paintball, camping, grilling, horror movie-athons, et cetera. Now that I’m a graduated man I can...
Aug 30th
1 note
June 2012
2 posts
2 tags
Jun 7th
2 tags
Jun 7th
May 2012
5 posts
2 tags
“I AM JAMES HOLMES A STAFF OF NATWEST BANK LONDON I HAVE A BUSINESS PLAN I WISH...”
– An email from James Holmes, a staff of Natwest Bank London. I think their caps lock key is stuck.
May 29th
1 tag
Mendengar Saya Mengaum!
I’m an expatriate - a global caste enlightened about other cultures and ignorant of their own. My parents didn’t have this problem. The old man hails from silent mountain men, regular Jeremiah Johnsons; Mom a lineage of New Orleans socialites. Obligatory family photo. The old man started working foreign assignments when I turned four. International accommodation held many...
May 22nd
4 notes
5 tags
May 16th
1 tag
May 15th
1 note
5 tags
May 15th
April 2012
4 posts
2 tags
Apr 24th
Apr 9th
2 tags
Big bald head, pink glasses, sandals with socks
Sitting in my weekly Literature Symposium. Today’s topic is Marvin Mudrick, the sardonic founder of UCSB’s College of Creative Studies and winner of 1925’s Silliest Name Award. I like to think he was the secret fifth founder of Hogwarts, but that’s a joke for another genre.
Apr 7th
1 note
2 tags
Apr 7th
March 2012
2 posts
3 tags
Mar 10th
1 tag
Mar 10th
February 2012
4 posts
thejonathanfeed asked: i love you...
Feb 28th
1 note
1 tag
Feb 22nd
1 note
1 tag
Feb 2nd
2 notes
1 tag
Feb 2nd
January 2012
2 posts
3 tags
*Life Update
Hey, Desmond here with a random once-in-a-while opportunity for you (that is, my devoted reader) to hear me (that is, Desmond Wilder, secret agent) blab about whiny lifey stuff. This is an unusual occurrence as my narcissism usually manifests in snippets of my personal work - just check out this blog’s archives. I’m not much of an underdog, or underpuppy, or whatever the cuter...
Jan 25th
7 notes
2 tags
Jan 2nd
1 note
December 2011
0 posts
Anonymous asked: If you could become any fruit, what fruit would you be?
Dec 1st
November 2011
16 posts
1 tag
Nov 29th
4 notes
Anonymous asked: Do you remember me?
Nov 29th
1 note
2 tags
Nov 27th
35 notes
1 tag
Nov 26th
1 tag
Nov 25th
1 tag
Nov 24th
1 tag
Nov 23rd
1 note
1 tag
Nov 22nd
1 tag
Nov 21st
1 tag
Nov 20th
1 tag
Nov 19th
1 tag
Nov 18th
Nov 17th
1 tag
Nov 16th
3 notes
1 tag
Nov 16th
1 note
August 2011
1 post
1 tag
Aug 12th
July 2011
4 posts
WatchWatch
Steven Ray Morris, a brilliant filmmaker, produced The Premiere while I was in my Junior year at UCSB. As Steven puts it on his blog: The Premiere is about a young and now frustrated filmmaker as he attends the premiere of his ex-girlfriend’s new film only to be reminded of the great love they once had together. But I repost the film purely for selfish reasons: I have a cameo! Briefly, yes,...
Jul 23rd
5 notes
1 tag
Jul 23rd
3 notes
1 tag
Jul 23rd
2 notes
2 tags
Anonymous asked: Pretty sure you've always wanted to see me naked.. Well.. I'm feeling pretty adventurous today so go to datelink5(dot)com (switch [dot] with .) then sign up and find my profile under the username 'lolsummer69'. I hid my face in the pictures. but I want you to guess who I am and then hit me up on Facebook lol. Good luck.
Jul 23rd
1 note
May 2011
13 posts
2 tags
"Does this Oval Office make my butt look fat?"
I was perusing my Facebook Notes (hey, if I’m narcissistic enough to name my blog Desmond Wilder: Self Construction, I can Facebook stalk myself too…) and came upon this little diddy I wrote back on November 4th, 2008, when then Illinois Senator Barack Obama smacked John McCain down, son! Someday this might supplement amounting evidence that I’m a misogynist, but today,...
May 29th
2 tags
May 28th
7 notes
4 tags
May 27th
7 notes